The Howl of a Pussycat

The owl and the pussycat

Went to sea

In a beautiful catamaran.

Cold Turkey on hill

Felt pea-green envy;

Vengeance served as you’d cater meringue.

Dish best served cold

Saw bay ring with ice scream:

Fowl play schemed owl and cat to maroon.

The puss flowed quite yellow,

A snotty-teared fellow:

Face couldn’t have catarrh more on.

They’d plotted Bahrain

And less snotted (bar rain)

Brain might’ve viewed Qatar more wrong…

When he’d pigged all his sorbet

Wrapped up in note gourmet,

The owl called the cat a moron!
"Moor on?"
"Yes! You got the drift... a moron!"

With Sympathy

I handed them the card with such

A silly, weak, affected smile.

I knew the printed words weren’t much

Sincere or even worth their while!

Next time with token words I’ll leave

A token gift enclosed within…

“With Simper Fee,

So please don’t grieve

My first attempt,

A card in all sin!”

N.B. 

To ‘simper’ is to smile in a comically craven manner 

suggestive of clumsiness, coyness, or coquettishness!